


Out of Order

by Insipidy



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fake Dating, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, carmilla the hot coffee maker, dad jokes, gayness intensifies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2018-09-20 19:59:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9510692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insipidy/pseuds/Insipidy
Summary: Lmao this AU's tags must be a coffee machine because man are the tags out of order!!AKA the wonderful lesbian AU everyone wants in every lesbian otp ship ever tbh. Who doesn't want that?P.S. most of the time I'm half asleep when writing so pardon any errors, I also realize the bio makes no sense other than it's a pun bahaha. Enjoy.





	1. Meet

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by tumblr

Everyday is the same, same old thing, same old boring thing. The only thing that had changed for Carmilla was the fact that it was a different century, day, and age. I mean of course, all of that was wiped away when she met Laura Hollis.

"Who's next," Carmilla says as she hovers over the register- she feels like she's anticipating for some great arrival, but the shop is fairly empty today. She's already peeved from her co-warker rambling about her cute girlfriend that is coming to visit her in work. Carmilla is beyond herself and just as she's about to get someone to run her shift after listening to the idiot's rambles, she is stopped dead in her tracks by the cutest girl she's ever laid eyes on.  
"Well hello there cupcake." She's happy she didn't give away her shift to that brat-  
"Oh um, I'll have a caramel cappuccino. And I was actually looking for Danny..."  
"Danny?"  
"Yes, Danny L-"  
"Lawrence?"  
And right on time, like a summoning spell or some shit, Lawrens comes out (no not out of the closet, but man is she gaaaaaaaaaaaay because she's got a cutie on her hands).  
"I'm here," Danny mumbles and sticks a sickingly sweet kiss onto her girlfriend's face. "Fuck," Carmilla thinks. She probably made a wrong move, I mean, the girl is obviously taken, but then again, she did seem interested. Maybe it's in her head.

"I'm sorry, who're you again?" the girl asks.  
Danny sighs and heaves a "Laura, don't worry about it."  
"What, don't I get to know who you're working with?"  
"No, no, it's just-"  
Here is admittedly the best time to chime in, "Laura, hmmm. That's a nice name. It'd be better if I was moaning it though." She snickers a bit at the face the girl, Laura, makes when she says that. Obviously, undoubtedly, Laura is appalled but seems to like how straight forward Carmilla is. Before Carmilla can get even another look at the girl, Danny is shuffling her off into her car. Tsk, tsk. No fun. She can see Danny and her girlfriend arguing from here though. She can even hear their conversation.

"See, this is exactly why I did not want you coming to visit during work Laura-"  
"No, no it's fine."  
"What do you mean it's fine, you're not offended in the least about that leech's advance?"  
"I am, but-"  
"But?"  
"Nothing, nothing, don't worry."  
"Alright," Danny opens her door for her as she gets in the car, and pretends like nothing ever happened. I mean why would Laura, her Laura, ever fall for a creep like that.

The next morning Carmilla is lost in the brown swirling mixture of the tainted brown water of coffee. In fact, she's so lost she doesn't realize someone's talking to her until, Laura taps her shoulder unceremoniously with annoyance evident on her flawless face. But, Carmilla just isn't having it today, and she's actually grumpy despite Laura's outward irresistible bubbliness. And even though Laura has only met her yesterday, she seems to know something isn't right. And Laura is right about that, she was flirting with her yesterday just to make Dani mad, but now with Valentine's day coming around the corner- reality is setting in and the reality is that Danny Lawrence has a girlfriend and she doesn't.

"Are you going to being dramatic and staring into the distance now?" Laura asks.  
That sobers up Carmilla, and she smiles as best she can and musters, "What can I get for you?"  
"Um, a girlfriend," Laura says sheepishly.  
"Ha ha. Real funny," Carmilla casts a side glance from where she stands, but looks around, "yeah, I don't know where Danny is. I don't think she's on shift today. Why are you here?"  
"That's exactly why I'm here actually. I mean the thing is that her and I- we broke up."  
Carmilla genuinely shocked, quickly adds, "Wait, what? Why?"  
"Look," Laura says, "I just, I told my parents I had a girlfriend and now I don't so I kind of need a girlfriend to meet them like soon? And I was wondering if you could do that, even though we barely know each other- I mean I know I might be getting ahead of myself, but you tolerated Danny so you can't be that bad-"  
"No, of course sure. I don't mind," Carmilla says, stopping Laura mid-ramble.  
"Great."  
"Okay."  
"Okay," Laura says in a rush, jotting her phone number on a piece of paper and all of a sudden putting it into Carmilla's hands, "Well, I have a job to go to, and I don't want to be late, so I should get a move on."  
Laura reluctantly waves as she exits the door, and maybe Carmilla's life isn't so bad after all.


	2. Date Date

Midnight after she just got off her shift and Carmilla is hovering her finger over the call button to call her fake girlfriend. But a girlfriend nonetheless right? She hesitates a second more, and then on the one second of whim she musters, she presses the daunting call button. She's just about to hang up when Laura answers.

"Hello? Who is this?" Laura says.  
"Um, hey it's Carmilla.."  
"Oh hey!"  
"I was wondering if you wanted to discuss this whole er- arrangement?"  
"Yeah, sure. I'll see you tomorrow in the morning."  
"Ok. Good night."  
"Good night Carm."

Carm? As Carmilla lays down for bed she thinks of Laura calling her that. Not a lot of people do, but I guess it's fine if we're about to fake girlfriends. And with that, she drifts off to sleep.

The next morning Laura is there and Carmilla is in her Starbucks-but-not-Starbucks colored green apron. Laura swears she hasn't seen such a beautiful sight to wake up and Carmilla is waving her hand in front of Laura before she realizes that. 

"Hey, Laura? Earth to Laura? I get off in like 10 so if you want, you can just sit over there for now," Carm says as she gestures to a comfy area of the cafe.  
Embarrassed as ever, Laura goes over to the sofa and waits awkwardly. She's definitely into Carm, she knows that much, but was this rash? Before she gets another second to think Carmilla is handing her a coffee of some sort.  
"So, are you gonna tell me about yourself or what?" Carm asks, eyeing her.  
"I mean, I- i guess. I don't know, it's just all kinda surreal."  
"What is?"  
"The whole breaking up with Danny thing, I just-"  
"Oh. Don't worry about it."  
"You're not worried about this whole shebang then?"  
Carmilla chooses her next words carefully, "I'm down for whatever you're down for."  
Laura blushes. "Well, I should explain though, Danny and I- we broke up sort of because of you."  
"Really? Should I be worried about red giant coming back then?" she smirks.


	3. Boss of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura get to know about each other and start planning a way to get her parents on board with their fake dating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed my lesbian OTP. No one edits it but me, so sorry for any errors! I'm trying to make the chapters longer and less sporadic. Also, I'm going to update more often. ;)

“No,” Laura says in a hushed voice, “what you should be more worried about helping me create a believable backstory for the two of us dating.”  
Carmilla raises an eyebrow at this, I mean, what’s so unbelievable about her getting a cute girlfriend? Highly unlikely until now, but hey she’s not going to be the odd one out.  
“I don’t see the problem, what’s so unbelievable?”  
“Well okay to start I’m really not good at lying…” she takes a deep breath as she continues, “I mean, usually I don’t do things like this. I’ll tell you right now why we broke up.”  
“And I care because?”  
Carmilla is playfully punched in the shoulder, “You care because you’re my girlfriend now!”  
“Okay! Okay, jeez.”  
Laura continues to ramble “… Dani she was so over protective! I don’t need that. It was one thing after the next, ‘Laura don’t do this, don’t do that,’ like, I have a dad for that you know! I just wanted someone to see me as an equally capable person, but she was just so-“  
“So in over her head?”  
Before Carmilla is met by any scolding, Laura actually smiles once since her breakup with Dani.  
“Hah. I guess you could say that,” and then eyeing her says, “no more tall jokes.”  
“Why would it be… low of me?”  
Now she definitely can’t stop laughing. She hadn’t laughed like this in a while, even with her ex Dani. It’s like her laughter seamlessly bubbles into her too.  
“Alright!” she elbows Carmilla in the gut who lets out a slight wince, “We need an actual backstory now.”

“Yes ma’am.”  
“Ma’am?”  
“No way, my parents aren’t going to buy that, and I sure as hell am not!”  
“Fine, what do you want me to call you then?”  
“Call me by your name.”  
“What?” Carmilla looks confused, clearly not getting the modern reference.  
Laura looks at her pointedly. “That’s a movie reference.”  
“Which movie?”  
“The one with the two guys, one’s older and the other’s younger…” she patiently waits for her to get it “the younger guy yknow… he does…” gesturing with awful hand motions “the thing. With a peach…”  
A look of realization comes across Carmilla’s face. “Wow. Sorry, I’m… peachless that sounds disgusting.”  
At this point, Laura’s practically rolling her eyes at her girlfriend’s jokes. Wait girlfriend? She keeps forgetting this is all temporary, that her parents might get to see this girl once and that’s it. She must have looked disappointed to make Carm look at her concerned.

 

“Man, was my joke really that bad? I’m sorry Creampuff… I can stop-“  
“No,” Laura says sharply, “no, no it’s fine. Anyways” She smiles trying to cover up her unfortunate realization, “Creampuff,” she smiles reassuringly, “I like that.”  
“I like that too,” Carmilla says wistfully.

Both were like magnets, drawing nearer and nearer each passing second. It began to dawn on them, things were going to end after her encounter with her parents. She didn’t want to think about it since things were going so well between them. Way better than she could’ve even hoped. To put such thoughts at bay, Laura proposes a date before they go to meet her parents.

“Carm?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Could we go on say… a date before you meet my parents?” She doesn’t dare look up out of fear.  
“Yes.”  
Carmilla’s already saying yes before Laura can talk herself out of it, and even think about retracting what she proposed. Trying to cover up her eagerness, she awkwardly coughs and continues talking and lets Laura get lost in their discussion about all things philosophy and the stars.  
“And speaking of stars,” Carmilla tries to say smoothly as possible, “we should go out at night and have a picnic, I can show you all the constellations and everything I know.”  
“Everything you know?” Laura looks at her curiously.  
“Everything I know,” she says with a wink, “and more of course. After all, I guess we never came up with a backstory for your parents huh?”  
“We don’t have to.” Carmilla gets a grave face, automatically fearing the worse.  
“We pretty much have one now,” she smiles and Carm looks relieved.

By now, all their countless coffee cups are drained with life sucked out of them. She starts to pick up after Laura and herself, but not before informing Laura exactly what her plans are. At least what some of them are.  
“I’ll text you the place and everything okay then Creampuff?  
“Sounds great Carm,” Laura waves her off and she feels superbly dumb waving back yet satisfied at the same time. She really can’t help but smile like an idiot. And she doesn’t consider herself a daydreamer, but all she can think about is her fake girlfriend that’s all too real in her life. Thinking to herself, she really doesn’t believe any of this is fake. It couldn’t be. But it’s just too good to be true and that’s what worries Carmilla.

 

Later that night, Laura’s sleepless. She’d be lying if she said hadn’t been restless because of having moved too quickly for her own good. Carmilla’s amazing. In fact, too amazing. She’s better than Dani. Isn’t this wrong to compare them so much? She’s so into Carm, she can’t get over it. But she’s also having a hard time getting over Dani. It’s all just moving so fast, her and Dani never were this close and between her and Carm it’s only been about a week or two. Her weary eyelids finally shut.

Probably too confident for her own good, Carmilla slaps the digits of Laura’s number in and shoots out the text, basically encapsulating a full play-by-play on their whole shindig for today. She’s never been so psyched. It’s nearly Valentine’s Day. She’s pumped so Carmilla’s not one to fret, she understands people are busy, they’ve got busy lives, right? I mean that’s what she told herself for the past hour when she waited for Laura to respond. And when she responded, boy was it a response.  
“Carm, I’m sorry… I need more time.”

She doesn’t want to believe it. No way.

“Like to get ready?”

“No. You know what I mean.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

 

No, Carmilla shakes her head. Not as sorry as she is. She was supposed to be a fake girlfriend to Laura. Fake. Fake? Then why did this hurt so real, and so bad? Crashing onto her bed, she begins to cry and be filled with regret. I was supposed to be a fake girlfriend, she says to herself. What did I do wrong? How could this happen? I thought everything was going great, isn’t this what she wanted, something as familiar to her as a real relationship? It’s supposed to have been fake, but this seems all too familiar to her, and real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some backstory in the next chapter on Carmilla, why she's so damn triggered to give it that dash of angst. I'm triggered too! But everything's gonna be fine y'all, I promise! <3


End file.
